Safe to Hope
by clairenbearen
Summary: She needs to tell him. Judd/Vicki drabble.


She loved the color of the moon.

There was something about it, almost as if it was an enlightened mystery, exposing the source of secrets that could never be told and questions that held no answers.

She also needed to hurl.

She had woken up about an hour earlier with the same urge to participate in this natural bodily function.

The trouble was her husband was sleeping beside her.

She hated how light of a sleeper he was.

To make matters worse, she had fallen asleep wrapped in his arms.

To make matters even worse, he refused to sleep with a shirt if the weather was warmer than 50º Fahrenheit.

If she slipped out of bed now, there was no doubt in her mind that Judd would wake up. She also knew that he would be able to hear her throwing up, so it wasn't like she could lie and say she needed to use the restroom.

She hoped she just had the flu.

In trying to keep her mind off how desperately she needed to throw up, she turned her head and looked at her husband.

It had only been five months since their wedding. They'd had plenty of arguments in the short time since their marriage – Mark called them "verbal sparring matches." Their worst fight was just after Mark's death.

Judd still refused to talk about it.

Mark was one of her best friends, but for some reason, it was far worse for Judd.

They were like brothers.

Vicki shook that thought from her mind. She'd been more emotional lately, and she didn't feel like waking Judd up with her tears.

Sometimes she was overwhelmed by just how much she loved the man laying beside her. She smiled at the dork that he was, especially when he insisted that he was good with computers (he wasn't; he just pressed random buttons and they usually worked in his favor). He only ate the green and yellow skittles, often eating his stash as he tried to be protective on the computer. Occasionally, he would burst into a random Taylor Swift song (how he could remember the lyrics from "Blank Space" and "Wildest Dreams" but not what she said about the laundry honestly astounded her) and sing into Vicki's hairbrush.

He looked so peaceful as he slept.

She almost wanted to trace her fingers over his lips and his eyebrows, wondering what he was dreaming about.

For a man who looked so peaceful, she knew for a fact that he would go to war for her and only her.

She loved him so much that it sometimes hurt.

She still needed to puke.

 **X-X-X-X-X**

As she and Judd huddled in the tunnel, hoping that the Global Community wouldn't dare look in this specific tunnel, she rested her hand on her stomach.

They'd made a promise to each other, months ago, when they decided to make this trip. Where one went, the other would follow. And if that meant to death, then it meant death. There was no backing out.

She swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest, tears welling up involuntarily.

Judd looked over and saw her cover her mouth with a trembling hand. "Vick…" He pulled her closer to his side, rubbing her left arm, trying to console his shaking wife.

She needed to tell him. Oh dear God, she needed to tell him.

But she couldn't.

If she left him in the dark, he would be careful, knowing that if he died, she was going with him. If she told him…

She wasn't going to tell him. Not yet, anyways.

It hurt, keeping this from him, especially when he needed to know.

Her hand was still resting on her stomach.

 **X-X-X-X-X**

They were cornered again.

At the sound of the Global Community's orders, fear filled Vicki again.

Judd turned on his heel, shielding Vicki from harm. With his back to her, she placed her hand on her stomach again, warring with herself.

"You guys run," he said, barely turning his head so she could hear.

Her heart nearly stopped before she remembered the burly man who had come alongside her and Judd. Ehud's eyes fell to her hand, and he looked at her softly, almost as if to tell her, " _I'll protect him. Don't you worry._ "

Vicki put her hand on her husband's shoulder, drawing strength from his dependable self. "Don't you remember our promise?" she said, trying her hardest to keep her voice even. "We stick together."

Ehud squared his shoulders and his eyes hardened with determination. "I'm with you two," he said, his voice heavy with an accent.

The soldiers came and roughly grabbed the three. A young soldier grabbed Vicki, and Vicki could have laughed at the fire that spit from her husband's eyes.

The soldier who dragged Vicki with him put his mouth close to her ear, and it took everything in her not to slam her forehead on his nose. "I saw. I'll do what I can to keep you and your boyfriend –"

"Husband," she gritted.

" _Husband_ ," the drunken soldier nearly spat out the word. "I'll do what I can to keep you and your husband from being killed."

Vicki turned her hazel eyes to the freckle-faced boy. "Please, just…don't mention anything in front of him."

The soldier nodded and gently guided her into the car.

X-X-X-X-X

They were safe.

It was one of the worst battles Jerusalem had been through, and they'd been in the middle of it.

But they were safe.

Vicki wasn't entirely sure why Jesus had sent them back to their respective homes after He had defeated Nicolae Carpathia, but she did know that she needed to tell Judd.

She walked in, watching as he searched the floor for a clean t-shirt. With a smile on her lips, she bent, picking up a black one. "Is this what you're looking for?"

He turned his head and smiled. "Yeah," he said, navigating his way through a pile of his clothes. "Thanks." He took the shirt from her and gave her a quick kiss.

"Judd?" she said, biting her bottom lip.

He furrowed his brow and stepped closer to her. "What is it, Vick?"

She opened her mouth, prepared to blurt it all out, but nothing came. "You should probably sit down."

His eyes searched hers as he slowly lowered himself onto the couch.

Silence filled the room as she tried to evaluate which words she wanted to use. She looked back at her husband, who raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Vicki?"

Her bottom lip trembled, and she tried to swallow her tears. "We're going to have a baby."

It took a moment for the words to register in his mind. When he had processed the information, he covered his mouth with his left hand. "We're going to have a baby?" he asked through his tears.

Vicki nodded, her voice too thick with tears to speak.

She could only imagine what he was thinking, and she kicked herself for not telling him earlier.

His sea green eyes searched her golden ones. They had never looked so clear.

"How far along?"

She drew in a shaky breath. "About four weeks."

He closed his eyes and nodded. When he opened his eyes, he asked the bomb-shattering question. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I know I should have –" she was talking through the tears, hoping that Judd wouldn't be too angry with her. "But I didn't want you to come here without me –"

Judd shook his head. "I wouldn't have left you."

"And I didn't want to be what kept you from coming here –"

Judd stood, taking painstakingly slow steps to reach Vicki. "I wouldn't have minded."

"And then when we came here, I didn't want our baby to lose his father –"

His eyes were soft. Why was he forgiving her? Why was he comforting her?

"I wouldn't have been gone for long."

"And I didn't want you to die for me, or to protect two people –"

He stood in front of her. "I would have done it regardless." He cradled her face in his hands, soothingly stroking her cheek with his thumb. He lifted the corner of his mouth in a small smile. "Anything else?"

Vicki's voice was small. "I didn't know how you would react, after…after losing our last one."

His voice was a whisper. "I would have been ecstatic."

With that, he brought her lips to his in a kiss that was filled with every word that they hadn't yet spoken.


End file.
